I knew it was only a matter of time before the boys started paying attention to you, Lucy. Apparently he did not see his recent companions. “Why do you hate me again, my love?” He seemed to brighten, feeding upon the intensity of her emotion. He would be off her case just as soon as his fever for her broke and he found a lover, and she imagined he must have plenty of girls from ritzy families lining up to choose from. Twice he cleaned the old briar; still there was no improvement. Empty, silly, coarse brutes. It was scarcely likely that she would have accepted his aid. Why am I here—thirty years of loneliness? Because I know women, the good and the bad; and because I could not have the good, I would not take the bad. You may command my services at any time. His eyes never left her face. This, then, must be the person whom he had seen spring upon the western platform at the time of the collision between the boats. Dare we look back upon the darkened vista, and, in imagination retrace the path we have trod? With how many vain hopes is it shaded! with how many good resolutions, never fulfilled, is it paved! Where are the dreams of ambition in which, twelve years ago, we indulged? Where are the aspirations that fired us—the passions that consumed us then? Has our success in life been commensurate with our own desires—with the anticipations formed of us by others? Or, are we not blighted in heart, as in ambition? Has not the loved one been estranged by doubt, or snatched from us by the cold hand of death? Is not the goal, towards which we pressed, further off than ever—the prospect before us cheerless as the blank behind?—Enough of this. If you do not help me to read the riddle of yourself, Annabel, I think that very soon I shall be a candidate for the asylum. Jonathan, in all probability, knows nothing of these packets; and their production may serve to intimidate him. She was not very clear about the position and duties of a chorus-girl, but it certainly had the air of being a last desperate resort.
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