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One particularly humiliating thing came out— humiliating for me. “I wonder,” she murmured to herself, “if this is the beginning. He might have supposed the fellow would be eager to be rid of the tale, for that he might have longer to enjoy the amenities of the Triumphal Chariot where the meeting had been appointed. “Oh, I am lonely,” she moaned. Ruth was inflammable; she would always be flaring up swiftly, in pity, in tenderness, in anger; she would always be answering impulses, without seeking to weigh or to analyse them. That he should pay forty pounds to help this girl who preferred another man was no less in his eyes than a fraud and mockery that made her denial a maddening and outrageous disgrace to him. For this three weeks had been the hardest of her life. "Or trying to be," answered the doctor.
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